THE BIGGEST LOVE LOSS AND THE REDEMPTION JEWELS THAT CAN BIRTH US FORWARDPosted on November 16, 2017 by Joanna
Fall in the Taoist system is a time of psychic release and letting go, a death time.
Transitioning into the deep cold and intensity of winter got me thinking…
My second pregnancy back in 2010, a deep story I haven’t shared publicly before but I wanted you to know HOW LOVE-LOSS CAN BE EXPERIENCED and triumphed from
Here’s what it can feel like and what it can reveal.
The DEEPEST redemption possible IS on the other side.
They say all pregnancies differ but my second pregnancy really felt different, so unlike my first.
I’d felt strong and robust during my first pregnancy, but didn’t feel that way during this pregnancy and didn’t understand what was happening.
I was working through an incredibly PAINFUL AND TRAUMATIC amount of turmoil in my partnership, I didn’t have all the tools and resources I have now.
I FELT LOST, HURT AND ANGRY, DEEP IN BETRAYAL WOUNDS.
I had a dark dream the night before (the kind you wake up from and go, ‘oh no!’) we got the results for the second test, and the next day, the doctor called to say the test results had come back positive for Down Syndrome.
The first test happened close to 19 weeks, and the second test around 23 weeks.
The night after our second test, I dreamed I heard a snapping sound inside my belly. I woke my husband at 3am and told him. I was feeling the BIGGEST SENSE OF DOOM AND GLOOM EVER REMEMBERED.
And then I started GRIEVING, without really knowing for sure why.
We called the geneticist at 5am, who confirmed the baby had an anomaly on chromosome 15, which lent itself to a host of frightening syndromes, indicating the baby would not live beyond the first year of life.
I WAS DEVASTATED ON SO MANY LEVELS. On and on my hubby and I talked.
These are such orphaned, mysterious diseases with no community support.
Fear and terror knocked on our psychic door.
Ending the pregnancy this far in was a VERY DIFFICULT AND DANGEROUS DECISION to make, but we did not feel that bringing a life into this world under these conditions was our path or purpose. I hope that you will not judge me for that.
We went ahead, feeling small, scared, and vulnerable. Warms hands and hearts supported us all around. I could feel when he was about to pass and I was crying.
I cried out and sobbed incessantly in the deepest part of my loss.
Praying inside my heart, with a circle of people around me.
I called out for help and said, “Please, show me a way. Show me what this is supposed to mean”.
Then, out of nowhere, I was shown a vision – a coliseum of infinite angels supporting me, him and our family.
I felt BLESSED, HELD, LOVED, and divinely supported.
During these times, there is something so open, pure-hearted and sincere in our bodies, hearts and wounds when we call out for help. It reminded me that we all have deep losses, hurts, heartaches, betrayals, which cut deep and are anything but shallow.
Help arrived in the form of not only the human world of friends and family but also the spirit world.
ALL THESE BEINGS WITHOUT BODIES, UNENCUMBERED BY OUR HUMAN FORM, ARE JUST WAITING TO HELP.
As a successful woman, I felt I should’ve handled this alone.
The women I work with are successful, spirit-oriented, soul-driven, and yet compelled to do it ALONE, as if others value them only IF “You’re the tough, strong one”.
In this patriarchal world, this needs to SHIFT, especially if we are to DELIVER THE FULLNESS OF OUR SOUL GIFTS to this planet and to those we’re meant to serve.
In reaching out during your greatest moments of loss, hurt, betrayal, fear and everything that goes along with all of that, there’s a divine guidance that shows up.
It wants to!
IT’S LITERALLY WAITING FOR US TO CALL IT INTO CREATION WITH OUR HEARTS, WORDS, VOICES, MINDS AND BODIES.
We just aren’t given the tools to reach out this way and ask for help.. From here, we are able to embody the biggest jewels and gifts that these experiences have TUCKED AWAY INSIDE OF THEM, by literally reaching out in our deepest heartache.
These gifts are NEEDED and essential to going to the next level of embodiment and expression in your work and love life.
Our society doesn’t teach us that.
It didn’t teach me that either. Perhaps you too.
I can say now for sure that when I call out when I’m feeling “weak” I no longer judge myself if I need help, or want to be deeply supported.
What ascending woman (or man) doesn’t need that too?
ONCE YOU GO THROUGH THE BIGGEST LOVE-LOSS AND TRIUMPH, NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU.
They cannot take away the hard, deep inner work you do to harvest those jewels and gifts.
Just know how much I support you and am with you from the inside of my heart and the depths of my soul.
I want to walk with you and support you, in your own versions of this, to be with you as you walk forward through this. Reach out to me if you’re resonating and I can help.
Lots of love to you!
Watch the video here – and if you KNOW you’re meant for way more than what you’re currently experiencing, reach out to chat with me and let’s see how I can help you.
Watch the video below: